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If you own a vehicle and haven't done much of walking in Trivandrum, chances are you wouldn't know what we are going to talk about. We are going to talk about the miseries faced by that poor species that walks the earth, called pedestrians. Especifically, pedestrians in Trivandrum.
As a dedicated walker on that part of the earth that makes the ground of Trivandrum, one is entitled to a certain authority on the subject. So with the support of extremely personal sufferings, we proceed. The reader is requested to step out to that road outside. You are to look closely at the so-called side-walk. If you are a user of a high-power lens, chances are you would still not miss that terrible thing that was created to destroy the life of a poor pedestrian (hence known as PP). Spittle.
This dedicated walker has never been able to make six consecutive steps without spotting one of these or narrowly missing another. We, the pedestrians in Trivandrum, live a really sad life. The beautiful skirt hems, the newly bought jeans are all victims of that messy little drool (or drooly little mess?)
Have you winced? It is only the beginning of our problems! Wait till you hear the bigger tortures designed exclusively to make a pedestrian's life miserable. Didn't we just say about a thing called side-walk? Be honest, how many of you were actually able to spot one? That is another remarkable thing. One of the first things a wanna-be pedestrian should know about is the list of roads in Trivandrum that doesn't come with a side-walk. You have to either figure out an alternative route or else write your will before taking that walk. You will find yourself walking so close to the walls it wouldn't be surprising if you have to literally pull yourself out of it later.
That was actually the better side of side-walks. The real villains are their fake twins. You would think your life is safe, once you land there, only to know that a tyre has just run over your feet and you are standing like Tom (Jerry's cousin) with ten toes shaped like an accordion. The excuse of the tyres is that the side-walk doesn't look like a side-walk and anything that doesn't look like a side-walk is the sole property of them wheelers. Besides, they have to rush to the other side before the light turns red. A green light is more important than flat feet, so you can't blame them.
Once you have survived the side-walk crisis and the spittle mess, you are in for what is known as a zebra crossing. Those are white lines on the road made for the purpose of making the roads look pretty in the night. Another purpose deduced by the brainy author is that they act as starter buttons. The moment a pedestrian steps on one of these lines, a motor vehicle followed by 10 others speeds from the opposite side and the PP is left staring at his accordion feet again. Although this time, all the staring can be done in clouds on his way to join his forefathers up there.
The author shall not venture towards the hostile attitude fellow men greet a pedestrian with. Enter a shop and they check for your wheels outside. If you haven't got one, you are given the Trivandrum version of the treatment given to Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. Sigh.
Long ago, when roads were first formed, a man climbed on it. A vehicle moved on it. They faced each other. From that day started the war between a vehicle and a pedestrian. Drivers accelerate when they see one of our species. The pedestrians who are not equipped with those deadly weapons called wheels hide behind a tree or duck under a stronger man. And that has always been the sad story of a pedestrian. No vehicle likes him, no shop welcomes him, no signal waits for him. He does not even get the sympathy of a fellow pedestrian who has lavishly poured out all that comes to his mouth on the paths of a PP.
There is a lot more. But it should not seem like a desperate attempt for sympathy (no one needs to know it is). Ahh us PPs, we need your empathy. And some quick actions!
- Rule Number 1: No spitting on roads! Find a wash basin!
- Rule Number 2: Side-walks are exclusively for us! No wheel steps on it!
- Rule Number 3: Pedestrians have a right to cross the road and live to tell they did!
The reader will now kindly remember that pedestrians are poor nice people who need a lot of rich nice space!
Posted By : Cris, On Apr 01, 2010 12:52:14 PM